


You’re Cute and I Don’t Know How I Feel About That

by blushwings



Series: JunHao College AU [1]
Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anxiety, Art Major Junhui, BTS are mostly side characters, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Doctor Kim Seokjin | Jin, Drinking, Dry Humping, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, House Party, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Junhui is also a barista, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Med Student Minghao, Nurse Jeonghan, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Plushies, Romance, Social Anxiety, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, VMin are engaged, rating is for swearing and for smut in later chapters, the other ships are pretty minor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-03-12 16:21:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13551069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushwings/pseuds/blushwings
Summary: tinkerbell:I met the most adorable guy at that café today :(angelhan:So why the frowny face? :((tinkerbell:I kind of made him have a panic attack_*Chapter 6 has (finally) been added!*





	1. Find You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, my first chaptered fic! I have about seven chapters planned, but I can’t promise a regular update schedule because of school being crazy. I’ll hopefully have the second chapter up soon since I already started it.
> 
> Also, **TW for descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks.** This chapter is pretty mild, but it’ll get worse later on.
> 
> _
> 
> My song rec for this chapter is Find You, by Zedd.

Minghao was particular about his coffee. 

He knew his sleeping habits left a lot to be desired, but the amount of homework for a nursing student was insane, not to mention the gauntlet of classes. He mercifully only had a morning class two days a week, but on those days he was sure he would die without his caffeine, and there was only one place in town that made a decent macchiato the way he liked.

The café he frequented was on the smaller side but charming, with its brick walls and handpainted furniture, and Minghao was on a first-name basis with most of the employees, which came in handy for getting the occasional free cookie. Today, however, there was someone he didn’t recognize making the drinks with their broad back facing the door. Minghao knew he was practically a zombie from lack of sleep, but he definitely would have remembered a barista with purple hair.

“Just your usual today?” Seokmin asked as Minghao approached the counter.

The blond rummaged through his wallet, nearly tossing his keys and student ID on the floor in his half-awake state. “Yeah, but give it an extra shot of espresso. I have a long shift at my internship after class, and it’s gonna suck without the boost.”

“It’s probably gonna suck either way, but hopefully this’ll help,” Seokmin chuckled as he tapped away at the register screen.

Minghao had already forgotten the mystery employee until he caught a flash of pale purple in his peripheral vision and turned his head to look and great, now he couldn’t stop staring because _holy fuck,_ that was the most gorgeous boy he had ever seen. 

Plenty of the café’s staff were attractive, but this boy was soft and pretty in a way Minghao just couldn’t take his eyes away from. As he watched the stranger line drinks along the counter to be picked up, he formed a quick mental map of the high cheekbones, well-defined nose, wide, bright eyes, and that delightfully fluffy hair dyed a soft lilac. _Jun,_ his nametag declared in graceful, admirably neat handwriting.

“I see you noticed Junhui.” Seokmin smiled slyly as Minghao jolted out of his awed stupor, cheeks reddening. “He’s sweet, but he’s really shy, so try not to scare him too badly, okay?”

Junhui. So he might be Chinese, too, Minghao’s brain supplied eagerly. There was only one way to find out, he supposed.

He was the only one waiting for a drink, the shop mostly empty this close to classes starting. He waited until Junhui went to set out what had to be his coffee before making the smooth transition from Korean to Mandarin.

“Hello,” he greeted with a gentle smile as he approached the counter. “I’ve never seen you here before, so you must be new, right?”

Junhui’s head snapped up immediately at the familiar language, and Minghao’s stomach gave a strange twist, because the taller boy was somehow even prettier up close. He knew it was probably obvious his stare was fixated on the lower half of Jun’s face, but he was fascinated by the plump lips and smattering of beauty marks he hadn’t been able to appreciate from farther away.

That train of thought was abruptly derailed when Minghao noticed Junhui actually looked _scared._

“O-oh, hi,” Junhui said very, very softly, eyes falling to somewhere between Minghao’s chest and the counter. His heart flip-flopped again, because the other boy was blushing rather adorably and fiddling with his long fingers. “I’ve been here a few months, actually, I j-just used to work nights.”

This was easily the most conflicting situation Minghao had ever experienced, and that was counting having to guess a question on a multiple-choice exam more than once. On one hand, his heart was practically screaming at him to sweep this precious boy off his feet and protect him forever, but on the other, he had noticed Junhui’s bottom lip quivering almost imperceptibly and realized with a jolt that the poor thing was probably going to cry if this interaction didn’t end soon.

“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you around, then, ‘cause I put way more coffee in my body than I should. Have a good shift!”

“O-okay. Thank you,” Junhui replied in that sweet half-whisper of a voice, and Minghao just caught the relieved slump in the other’s posture as he turned to leave.

Or nearly left, anyway.

It was just a minor mistake he had noticed, and a small part of his brain was telling him just to deal with it and go, but dammit, _he was particular about his coffee._

“Hey, Junhui, sorry,” he started as he turned on his heel and made his way back the way he came, wincing inwardly at Junhui’s wide-eyed, startled expression. “I might’ve just forgotten to specify, but I kind of wanted this iced, not hot. Could you remake it for me, if it’s not too much trouble?”

Minghao had never regretted a decision faster in his life.

Junhui broke into a smile that he could tell was very carefully practiced, but it was the way Jun’s voice hovered right on the edge of cracking that twisted his stomach into a guilty knot. “I’m so sorry, that was probably my fault,” Junhui rushed out, audibly struggling to keep his voice in check. “Here, let me...”

Minghao hesitated when he saw how badly Jun’s proffered hands were shaking but obligingly handed over his cup to give the other boy an excuse to turn away from him. 

He watched as Junhui _tried_ to remake the drink, the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach growing with each mistake Jun made, spilling ingredients and desperately trying to redo a lopsided swirl of whipped cream, completely at odds with the rapid precision he had displayed earlier. The sensation culminated in a sharp stab of pity when Junhui gave a frustrated little whimper, breathing far too quickly as he stood frozen, his body trembling visibly even from several feet away.

Seokmin must have heard the distressed noise, too, because he suddenly appeared at Junhui’s side, gently prying the can of whipped cream from his fingers. “Here, Junnie, let me take care of this. You go sit in the office for a few minutes and have a glass of water, okay?”

Junhui didn’t hesitate to take him up on that offer, and he had vanished into the kitchen before Minghao could react, but the blond didn’t miss the sound of a broken sob before the door swung shut.

Seokmin finished his task in tense silence, and Minghao snatched up his drink and hurried out into the cold winter morning, wondering how on earth that had all gone so wrong and feeling like the most insensitive person on the planet.

__

“Junhui? What’s wrong, are you okay?”

The last thing Joshua had expected was for his new day shift employee to burst into his office crying. Well, maybe not the last thing; he knew the purple-haired barista was sensitive, having dealt with a handful of irate customers reducing the poor boy to tears, but he could tell this was different as he watched Junhui collapse into a chair, trembling weakly.

“Hey, hey...” Joshua murmured kindly, scooting his chair closer to Junhui’s and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Do I need to chew somebody out again?”

Junhui shook his head slightly, hands clenched together so hard his knuckles turned white. “I l-looked like s-such an idiot.”

Joshua turned to the wall of security camera feeds beside him and rewound the one facing the machines just slightly. “Oh, Junhui, that’s not a big deal,” he assured as he watched the recording. “You looked really scared, though. Was that guy rude to you?”

The Chinese boy stared down at his hands, still teary but feeling a little calmer. “He was really cute and I freaked out.”

“Did he talk to you?” Joshua asked, suppressing a fond smile.

“Yeah. I haven’t met anybody who speaks Mandarin since I moved here, and I understood him fine, but my speaking was a little rusty and I froze up.” Junhui sniffed quietly and wiped at his eyes, still trying to slow his breathing to more reasonable levels. “I honestly just wanted to cry because, I mean, a cute Chinese guy was _actually trying to make small talk with me_ and I was completely ruining it, and then he looked kind of startled because I was getting upset, and I just...”

“Don’t worry about it, Junhui. I’ve seen him in here quite a few times, he’ll be back.” 

Junhui finally forced in a deep breath as he was offered a box of tissues. “He won’t want to talk to me again,” he sighed dejectedly. “Not after all that.”

Joshua smiled knowingly as he stood to get Junhui a bottle of water. “I wouldn’t count on that just yet.”

__

 **tinkerbell:** I met the most adorable guy at that café today :(

 **angelhan:** So why the frowny face? :((

 **tinkerbell:** I kind of made him have a panic attack

 **angelhan:** oh god what did you do

 **tinkerbell:** I DON’T KNOW ALL I DID WAS TRY TO TALK TO HIM

 **angelhan:** ok I don’t know what the proper etiquette is for giving someone a panic attack but you should probably go apologize

 **tinkerbell:** jeonghan are you fucking kidding me I can never show my face there again

 **tinkerbell:** I. MADE. HIM. CRY.

 **angelhan:** all the more reason for you to apologize

 **tinkerbell:** no

 **angelhan:** okay what if I said I’d never buy you ramen on thursdays again if you didn’t

 **tinkerbell:** why are you such a monster

 **angelhan:** :D

 **tinkerbell:** you know what..fine

 **tinkerbell:** fuck you

 **angelhan: :** :DD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be honest, I’m projecting a lot onto Junhui, here. I have moderate to severe social anxiety and have indeed cried and completely lost it over making a small mistake back when I worked in retail. Good times.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome!
> 
>  
> 
> My ask box [on Tumblr](https://blushwings.tumblr.com) is always open if you’d like to talk or submit a request!


	2. Frozen Emotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling ambitious today, so here! Have a second chapter! :D
> 
> No trigger warnings needed for this one.
> 
> _
> 
> Song rec for this chapter is Frozen Emotion, by XEN.

If anyone asked, because Jeonghan certainly did first thing the next morning (to which Minghao reminded him that not everyone was up as obscenely early as him on weekends), yes, he really did did try to see Junhui.

“Sorry, he doesn’t work Saturdays,” Jihoon had told him. “He’s probably headed to the painting studio, he usually hangs out there until lunchtime.” The diminutive cashier had given him a Look then, one that promised bodily harm. “If you do find him, try not to make him cry again, yeah?” 

Fantastic. The whole place probably saw him as a public menace by now. Minghao was at least glad to see the other employees seemed very protective of Junhui.

His phone buzzed as he left the shop and, sure enough, it was Jeonghan.

 **angelhan:** did you find him

Minghao groaned and paused to punch out a response.

 **tinkerbell:** he apparently doesn’t work today, so I’ll probably see him when I go in on monday. Jungkook is at the library and he’s bored, so I’m gonna go cause mayhem with him for a while

 **angelhan:** coward

Minghao was ready to throw his phone into traffic and never look back.

He was crossing the school’s main courtyard, debating whether or not to grab a snack for Jungkook, when his heart jumped into his throat because _there was that lovely hair color._

Junhui had his back to him, kneeling next to the bike rack and fiddling with the tire of a bicycle that was presumably his. What grabbed Minghao’s attention, however, was that he was wearing only a thin hoodie and track pants that weren’t remotely appropriate for the middle of winter.

“Hey,” Minghao greeted softly, offering a hurried apology when Junhui nearly jumped out of his skin. “Need any help?”

“Oh, hi again.” Jun thankfully seemed a lot calmer this time, although a faint blush had almost immediately spread onto his cheeks. “The cold is destroying my tire pressure. I guess I didn’t fill this one as well as I thought.”

“I have an air pump in my car,” Minghao offered. Junhui stood up, and he suddenly found himself looking upward at the older boy slightly, having forgotten he was taller. “I...ah...” he scratched nervously at the back of his neck, a little uncomfortable under Junhui’s beautiful, doe-eyed stare. “I was hoping I’d run into you, I wanted to apologize for yesterday.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Jun replied softly, fingers toying with a beaded bracelet around his wrist. “I’m sorry I freaked out so badly. I have social anxiety, so I’m not really great at talking to people sometimes, you know? It scares me. A lot.” His voice had dropped to a near-whisper, gaze fixated shyly on the cobblestone under their feet.

“Hey, that’s okay,” Minghao reassured as he lead Junhui to the little old sedan he had bought to get to and from work. “If you don’t mind me asking, why do you work in customer service if interacting with people is hard for you?”

“It’s not so bad most of the time. Ever since they found out about it, they don’t make me work on the registers anymore, so I don’t usually have to talk to anyone”

Junhui wrapped his arms around himself after a harsh gust of wind that had Minghao trying to sink deeper into his coat, his teeth starting to chatter. 

“Shit, why are you dressed so light?” Minghao gasped, stuffing his hands as deep in his pockets as they would go.

Jun smile ruefully through his shivering. “Was an idiot, d-didn’t check the weather.”

As much as he dreaded the inevitable suffering, Minghao quickly stripped off his heavy jacket and held it out to a shocked Junhui. 

“No, no, keep it, I’ll be—”

“Take it. I’d rather you not freeze your ass off than me,” Minghao chuckled, pushing the coat into Jun’s arms before he could protest further.

Junhui stared down at the bundle of fabric for several long seconds, and just before Minghao could insist he put it on, he said quietly, “Can I ask you something?

“Sure, shoot.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

Minghao’s train of thought stopped completely dead. Junhui looked so sad and confused when he looked up at him, waiting for an answer, and Minghao just wanted to tell him _because you’re gorgeous and you seem really sweet and I don’t want you to feel so down on yourself,_ but the last thing he wanted was to scare him away by being too forward, so what came out of his mouth was, “Because I like you.”

Junhui blinked slowly, a slight furrow appearing between his eyebrows. “But...why?”

“I don’t really know. I just got this feeling when I saw you.”

Junhui stared at him blankly for a moment, and then his gentle eyes glossed over with tears and he hugged the jacket closer to his chest.

“I...I don’t know what to say,” he whispered, breath hitching softly in his chest.

Minghao smiled broadly, even though he had nearly panicked at the sight of Jun tearing up. “You don’t have to say anything. Here, don’t cry, it’s all right...” He gently took the jacket from Junhui’s hands and held it up for him to put his arms into. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to your bike.”

“Okay,” Junhui hiccuped, face breaking into a closed-lipped but genuine smile that made Minghao’s heart skip. “Wait, I haven’t even asked what your name is!”

“Minghao.” He bumped his shoulder lightly against Junhui’s as they walked back in the direction of the courtyard, air pump in hand. “Xu Minghao.”

_

 **tinkerbell:** suck it, jeonghan

 **angelhan:** what am I sucking and why

 **tinkerbell:** I talked to junhui and I’ve got a fat crush on him I’m pretty sure he reciprocates

 **angelhan:** dID YOU MAKE OUT

 **tinkerbell:** what the fuck I literally just met him

 **angelhan:** oh well, maybe next time

 **tinkerbell:** I’m not telling you anything anymore

 **angelhan:** wait we’re all friends here let’s be reasonable 

__

When Minghao went for his morning coffee fix the following Monday, he felt a pleasant warmth spreading from the center of his chest when he spotted Junhui behind the counter. The taller boy noticed Minghao when he went to start an espresso drip and offered a wave and a shy smile. 

Yep, it was official, Minghao was already helplessly soft for him.

“Have fun in class,” Junhui said by way of a greeting as he presented Minghao with his already-finished macchiato, along with the coat he had borrowed.

He snorted but accepted the cup with a grateful smile. “As if that will ever happen.”

Junhui giggled softly, and Minghao had to nearly sprint out the door to hide the fact he was completely red in the face just from that adorable sound.

Thankfully, the bitterly cold wind changed his complexion from a blushing red to a _my face is about to fall off_ red in no time flat. As he went to sip his drink, however, he noticed a bit of pretty, familiar handwriting on the cup sleeve.

 _I forgot to tell you, my full name is Wen Junhui. :)_ This was followed by a phone number. Minghao nearly dropped his cup in shock and spent the rest of the day experiencing firsthand what it meant to have butterflies in his stomach.

The second his last class of the day let out, he was tearing off to his dorm and nearly dropping his phone several times in his haste to text Junhui. Flopping stomach-down onto his bed, he sent a simple —

 **tinkerbell:** hey, it’s me :)

“Please stop grinning like that, you’re kind of creeping me out,” his roommate, Jungkook, complained from his own bed.

“You’d be doing the same thing if you had Hoseok’s number,” Minghao shot back with a wry smirk. The dance student yanked his sheets over his violently blushing face with a muttered “shut up” while Minghao chuckled victoriously.

Unfortunately, with Junhui working a long shift, there was nothing left to do but wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I’ve been feeling pretty motivated, so I might have the third chapter up soon. I know these first couple chapters have been mostly exposition, but now we’ll be getting more into the character and relationship building. 
> 
> Also, social anxiety can have good days and bad days just like many other mental illnesses. Some days I don’t even notice it and others I get scared just at the thought of talking to anyone. Having good days sometimes doesn’t mean you don’t have it or your feelings aren’t valid.
> 
>  
> 
> You can give me requests or talk to me [on Tumblr](https://blushwings.tumblr.com)!


	3. Youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I got way more into writing this chapter than I expected, so I had to split the next part that was originally connected to this one into its own chapter. I’ll hopefully have that done by the end of the week. In the meantime, enjoy JunHao being soft!
> 
>  **TW for descriptions of social anxiety in this chapter.** Again, pretty mild, but I just wanted to be safe.  
>  _
> 
> Song rec for this chapter is Youth, by Foxes.

**junhui:** hello!!

 **junhui:** sorry I took so long to get back to you, I just got home.

Before Minghao could really figure out why his body was moving, he had typed a quick _that’s okay!_ and hit send, and then he was throwing himself out of bed, speedwalking through the kitchen, making a lap around the sofa and finally sitting down on it, staring at his phone and the blinking ellipses of Junhui typing all the while.

 **junhui:** so, I guess I don’t really know much about you!

 **junhui:** I think Seokmin said you’re a nursing student?

 **tinkerbell:** yep, third year! it’s pretty brutal but hey, I knew that going in

 **tinkerbell:** that scary guy you work with said you were at the painting studio the other day, are you an art student or is that just a hobby?

 **junhui:** jihoon? he’s not that...

 **junhui:**...okay, he’s pretty scary. xD

 **junhui:** but yes, I’m in the art program. I usually prefer bringing projects back to my place to work on, but the canvas I’m using right now is huge. 

Minghao had been through some pretty intense Netflix sessions in his day, but he had never been more intently glued to his phone for a two-hour span. Junhui, as it turned out, was a lot of fun to text, and Minghao was dutifully putting to memory every fact he had learned about him during their conversation. He had regrettably not been able to convince Jun to show him any of his artwork (“it’s not that good,” he had insisted), but they were in the middle of a glorious retelling of their prouder moments in Overwatch when Minghao received a firm poke in the head by Jungkook.

“Didn’t you have an essay to finish?” the dancer asked as he went to raid the fridge.

“Shit,” Minghao grumbled, retrieving his laptop and textbooks from the coffee table.

 **tinkerbell:** I’m really sorry, I completely forgot I have a paper to write

 **tinkerbell:** do you think we could meet up sometime soon? 

**junhui:** sure! are you free Thursday? I get off work at two.

When Jungkook passed through the living room again several minutes later, he found a pleased-looking Minghao typing away happily at his computer.

“Can you _please_ stop smiling like that? You look devious.”

Minghao only grinned wider. “You’d be smiling too if you had a date.”

“But I wouldn’t look devious.”

“Go to bed, Kook.”  
__

Minghao bounced lightly on his heels, trying not to stare too obviously at the café doors while he waited for Junhui. He was glad it wasn’t blisteringly cold this time since they were going to the park for a walk, but he also secretly wished the temperature would drop; he felt jittery and almost overheated with nerves.

“What am I, fourteen?” he chuckled to himself, relieving some of his nervous energy by pacing along the sidewalk. An old woman with a dog gave him a strange look, but he was too mentally preoccupied to do anything but smile back.

“Hi,” a familiar, gentle voice said from behind him as he passed the menu board for what felt like the thirtieth time. A spike of excitement made his heart flutter, but he stopped his rapid about-face to stare in fascination, because Jun’s hair was no longer purple.

The soft pastel color he had worn previously had been replaced by a deep, rich red that was almost black closer to the roots, streaked with subtle lowlights of dark burgundy, giving him a sort of elegance where the purple had offered a sweet, carefree aura. It reminded Minghao of an expensive wine, and while a part of him would definitely miss the lilac, he decided he _really_ liked dark hair on Junhui. 

“Wow,” Minghao breathed, making a conscious effort not to let his mouth hang open.

Junhui blushed and smiled shyly at the ground, playing with his fingers. “I wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”

“Are you kidding, I love it!” Minghao laughed. “It’s just a little weird since I saw you with the purple like three days ago.”

They started off together, but after about a block, Junhui tugged lightly on Minghao’s sleeve. “I think the park is that way,” he commented softly, pointing back the way they had come.

“I had an idea on the way here. You’re probably hungry, right?” Minghao asked with a grin. Junhui nodded, perking up in interest.

“Where are we going to go?”

“It’s a surprise.” Minghao’s smile grew at Junhui’s quiet “okay,” walking close beside him and silently hoping he had made a good call based off what he had learned during their text conversations.

When they arrived, he found his decision had been nearly flawless.

“A cat café? Oh, I’ve been meaning to come here, but I didn’t want to go by myself!” Junhui’s entire demeanor had changed, and he looked so sweet and happy it made Minghao’s heart ache fondly. The taller boy turned to him with a delighted smile that made him sure his entire body would just turn to mush. “This is perfect, HaoHao.” 

They both blushed when the nickname slipped out, Minghao from endearment and Junhui from mortification. “That was stupid, I’m sorry,” Junhui murmured, the joy draining from his face almost as quickly as it had appeared.

“No, don’t apologize!” Minghao exclaimed. “I like it, actually.” He smiled as Junhui’s eyes brightened hopefully.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Now c’mon, you want to pet some cats, right?”

Watching Jun play with cats was the most precious thing Minghao had ever had the privilege of seeing. They seemed to like Junhui as much as he liked them, purring incessantly and gathering around him to take turns being held. Minghao sat with a trio of kittens on his lap, watching the older boy laugh and coo over the piles of fluff in his arms, his expression and body language so different than when he was at work. He found himself wishing Junhui would always be this untroubled and carefree; he deserved to be painting and playing with kitties and doing whatever else made him happy, not being driven to tears because he messed up someone’s coffee.

He was given another unpleasant reminder of Junhui’s troubles when their grumbling stomachs finally made them leave the cats and go to order some food. “W-wait, I’m not ready yet,” Junhui whispered urgently when Minghao moved to approach the counter, even though they had been studying the menu for a while already. 

He glanced over his shoulder and found Junhui hiding behind him, but he wasn’t looking at the menu, he was staring toward the ceiling, and Minghao realized he knew what he wanted but was mentally rehearsing what he would say to the cashier.

“What would you like?” he asked quietly, and Junhui visibly relaxed when he realized he wouldn’t have to order for himself.

Several minutes later, when they were seated at a table and Jun was happily devouring his ramen, Minghao took the opportunity to study him more thoroughly between bites of his pork. The table was rather small, forcing Junhui to put his long legs partly off to the side to avoid kicking Minghao, which drew his attention to the redhead’s unique shoes. Converse hightops were a pretty common sight given they were surrounded by college students regularly, but Jun’s sported an elaborate silver pattern of flowers and leaves that Minghao had never seen before.

“Junhui, did you paint those yourself?”

Jun looked up from his noodles, down at his feet, and then back up to Minghao, nodding timidly.

“They’re really cool.” Junhui’s mouth pulled into a small, grateful smile, but Minghao noticed the compliment was making him shy and moved on. “I wish I could mess with my clothes like that, but I’m useless with anything artistic. I can barely draw a stick figure.”

“It doesn’t have to be painting, or anything hard,” Jun explained softly. “You could always do stuff like this, see?” He tapped one of the embroidered patches on his denim jacket, a rose. “You can get ones that iron on.”

Minghao took note of the other patches he could see — a songbird, a cherry, and a sand dollar. Really, everything Junhui was wearing had a personal touch, except maybe the black athletic shirt under his jacket. He had probably painted the lone glass bead that hung around his neck, and perhaps his beach glass earring, as well, the blond mused as they finished their meal. 

Junhui gleefully fed the ducks at the park, which didn’t surprise Minghao one bit, and then the pair sat quietly on a bench to digest their lunch. Jun sat close enough to him their knees were almost touching, but he didn’t seem willing to actually make contact.

“Minghao?”

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you. I haven’t...I haven’t had that much fun in a really long time.”

Minghao turned his head, a little alarmed by how thin Junhui’s voice had become, and found him staring at his feet and looking almost overwhelmed.

“I can’t begin to understand why you like me,” Junhui went on, and Minghao’s heart broke a little bit, “but I like you, too. Today was so nice and I want to do more things like that with you, but I’m scared because I’ve n-never done anything like this before.”

“Junhui.” Jun looked up from his lap with sad, glistening eyes. “Listen to me, okay? You’re smart, you’re nice, you’re fun to spend time with and, let’s be honest here, you’re really gorgeous.” Junhui bashfully dropped the eye contact, but Minghao went on, “Anyone who can’t get past you being nervous around people is a complete asshole.”

“Do you...” Junhui looked at him with wide eyes. “Do you really like being around me?”

“Of course I do!” Without thinking, Minghao gently took Jun’s trembling hands in his. The other boy froze, staring at their intertwined fingers with a mix of wonder and confusion.

“Is this okay?” Minghao asked, hoping he hadn’t frightened Junhui with the sudden physical contact.

He nodded slowly, eyebrows furrowing.

Minghao’s gaze softened as he studied Jun’s sweet, slightly bewildered face. “Haven’t you ever held hands before?”

“N-not really,” Junhui admitted quietly. Minghao clasped their hands a little tighter and gave Jun’s a gentle squeeze, earning him a soft, tentative smile. “But I like it.”

Minghao walked them hand-in-hand to Junhui’s apartment, both of them beaming the whole way, and when Jun mustered the courage to give him a quick but sincere hug goodbye, Minghao’s smile didn’t fade for hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone please take me to a cat café.
> 
> Also, I’ll be completely honest here, I was planning on having Junhui change his hair color in this chapter from the start, but then I saw the mulled wine hair trend and couldn’t stop picturing that color on him.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Come yell at me [on Tumblr](https://blushwings.tumblr.com).


	4. Lv.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me longer than I thought because it’s a bit longer and I got stuck at one point, but here it is! I can’t estimate when the next update will be since my midterms start in a few days, but I’ll try to keep them coming at least once a week.
> 
>  
> 
> **TW for descriptions of anxiety. Also, warning for some mild steaminess and discussions of sex.**
> 
> _
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> Song rec for this chapter is Lv.0 by lo.

“Minghao, I’m going to punch you if you don’t make that stop ringing.”

“Mmh, what...?” Minghao groaned drowsily, squinting through the dark in the general direction of Jungkook’s bed.

“Your phone. It’s ringing.” A lump on the other bed that he assumed was Jungkook’s body had a pillow clamped over where its head should be. “Turn it off, I wanna sleep.”

“Okay, okay, hang on a sec.” He finally registered the sound of his phone buzzing on his nightstand and fumbled around blindly for it, cursing under his breath as the light from the screen blinded him. Unable to see who was calling, he accepted the call nonetheless, ready to tell off whoever had the audacity to wake him up at ass o’clock.

“Hello?” he snapped groggily, squeezing his eyes shut against the phone’s harsh light.

“H-Hao?”

All of Minghao’s fatigue-induced anger faded and was replaced by worry, and he was instantly wide awake. “Junhui? It’s three in the morning, what are you doing up?”

“I-I’m really sorry, HaoHao, I didn’t mean to wake you, I just couldn’t sleep a-and I didn’t know what else to do.”

Minghao frowned thoughtfully into the darkness; although Junhui’s voice was very quiet and tired, and a little shaky given he wasn’t very comfortable talking over the phone, he didn’t sound particularly upset, at least. 

“You sound exhausted. Do you want me to come over for a little bit?”

“No,” Junhui said almost before Minghao had finished his sentence. “You don’t have to do that, I can j-just talk like this.”

Minghao swung his legs out of bed and got up, leaving an unhappily muttering Jungkook to his sleep. “I know how much you hate phone calls, are you sure you don’t want me to walk over? Your apartment’s not far.”

“Please don’t,” Junhui whispered. “I’m a mess right now.”

“I don’t exactly look like a runway model right now, either,” Minghao chuckled, glancing down at his simple tank top and joggers. “So, why can’t you sleep? Were you doing an assignment?” He put on his jacket and sneakers while he talked and quietly slipped out the door, beginning the short walk to his boyfriend’s apartment.

Junhui was silent for a few seconds, and Minghao had to check his screen to make sure he hadn’t hung up. “I handed in a sketch in class today, but then after I got home I looked over the rubric again and thought of a bunch of things I could’ve changed. I started getting really stressed over it and now I still feel too sick to go to bed.” He heard a door open and close, followed by a long, weary sigh. “I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This isn’t even something I should be...”

Jun stopped mid-sentence to swallow thickly a couple of times. 

“You okay, Junnie?” Minghao reached his building easily enough since he had walked Junhui home on more than one occasion, and he took the steps two at a time as he ascended three floors, hoping he remembered the apartment number correctly.

“I d-don’t feel very good,” Junhui whispered, sounding a little out of breath, “but I’ll be fine. This happens sometimes.” 

Worry twisting unpleasantly in his gut, Minghao knocked gently on what he hoped was Jun’s front door. He heard the other boy gasp a little, startled at the sudden noise. “It’s just me. Please let me in, I don’t want you to be by yourself.”

Jun must have been in his living room, because only a moment after the call ended, Minghao heard the deadbolt sliding, and the door was cautiously pushed open. 

As he had expected, Junhui was in his sleeping clothes — a pair of plaid flannel pajama pants and an oversized gray shirt whose sleeves nearly covered his fingers — and clutching his headphones and an electric blanket to his chest. Minghao would’ve been preoccupied by how sweet he looked, but the older boy’s expression was so helpless and exhausted, and his eyes were ringed with red and a little puffy.

“Junnie, have you been crying?” Jun nodded tiredly in affirmation, stepping aside to let the blond through the door. At this distance, Minghao could see he was shivering.

“I really need to lie back down, if you don’t mind,” Junhui said quietly, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed heavily again. “My stomach hurts.”

Minghao helped him settle on the sofa as comfortably as he could, propped up against a pillow with the blanket draped over him. Junhui curled in on himself a little, trembling miserably. “Do you need me to get you a bowl or something, in case you throw up?”

Jun closed his eyes and let out a long breath through his nose. “Don’t worry, I never do. I usually j-just try to relax for a while until I feel a bit better.”

Minghao felt utterly useless. How often did this happen? He sat cross-legged on the floor next to Junhui and reached for his hand where it rested over his stomach, and the other boy smiled slightly at the contact, slipping his fingers between Minghao’s and squeezing lightly.

“Is it okay if I talk to you? You don’t have to respond or anything, but maybe it’ll distract you,” Minghao offered.

Junhui nodded with his eyes still closed, and Minghao launched into a discussion of any topic that came to mind. His classes, Jungkook and Jeonghan’s antics, some of the more ridiculous things he encountered at his internship, or anything else he could think of. He eventually stuck to one subject when Jun started to giggle at a retelling of his friends’ alcohol-fueled shenanigans at a party a couple weekends prior; Minghao didn’t usually like to get _completely_ hammered, so he was typically the only one sober enough to appreciate everything that went on, such as his psychology classmate, Mingyu, sobbing uncontrollably over cute dog photos on Jeonghan’s phone while Seungkwan tried to make the DJ play Work for the fifteenth time.

After a while, Junhui’s shaking had mostly stilled, and Minghao noticed his breathing falling into a steady rhythm that indicated sleep.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Minghao whispered, tapping his arm gently. 

Junhui stirred, eyelids fluttering adorably. “Sorry, did I doze off?”

“It’s fine, that was kind of the idea,” Minghao laughed. “Why don’t we get you to bed? You don’t look all that comfortable here.”

Jun nodded drowsily, but instead of moving to get up, he reached his arms out expectantly.

Minghao sighed and shook his head fondly, trying to figure out how he was going to carry the taller boy without injuring one or both of them. He eventually coaxed Junhui to latch onto his front, arms around his neck and legs hooked over his hips, and heaved him off the sofa with no small amount of effort, blanket and all. He wasn’t overly heavy, but he was _tall,_ and navigating an unfamiliar apartment with Jun’s long body draped over him was a challenge, to say the least.

“Last door on the left,” Jun murmured sleepily as Minghao tentatively started down the hall. He was immensely grateful that the redhead stayed very still and trusted him to keep his balance, and Junhui stayed just as limp even when he was dumped somewhat unceremoniously onto his bed. 

“It’s a good thing you don’t have any stairs,” the blond gasped out, cautiously stretching his back.

“Mm.” Junhui smiled a little and burrowed into the sheets, a happy sigh escaping him as Minghao tucked him in. 

“You’re cute, you know that?”

“M’not.”

Minghao just chuckled, placing a tentative kiss into Junhui’s hair. “You can’t argue a scientific fact. I’ll be in the living room if you need anything, okay?”

He quietly closed the bedroom door on his way out and flopped onto the sofa Junhui had been occupying. He had never been in Jun’s apartment before, and although most of the lights were off, he could see that the place was clean and thoughtfully decorated by various plants and pieces of framed artwork, the walls painted in light browns and grays. He wished he could see clearly enough to tell if any of the art was Junhui’s.

As much as Minghao wanted to be in his own bed, his instincts told him Jun might appreciate some company in the morning. He was glad he stayed, because not ten minutes had passed before he heard a soft creak in the hallway, and then a wide-eyed Junhui appeared, still holding his blanket.

“HaoHao?”

“Still don’t feel well?” Minghao asked sympathetically, ready to fetch anything he might need.

Jun shook his head slightly, staring at the floor and fidgeting shyly. “Could you...stay in my room with me?”

He hadn’t quite expected that. Now Minghao felt almost as bashful as Junhui looked; while Junhui had gotten comfortable with and often sought out hand-holding and an occasional hug, cuddling wasn’t something they had ever gotten around to.

“Sure. I mean, as long as you’re okay with it.” He was suddenly very glad the room was dim enough to hide his reddening face.

Jun nodded again, quietly walking back to his room with Minghao in tow. “I have nightmares sometimes, and I didn’t really want to be alone.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” Minghao climbed under the sheets first and watched as Junhui settled himself in with a comfortable amount of space between them. “Sleep well, Junnie.”

Junhui reached for his hand, holding it close to his chest with a soft smile. “‘Night, Hao.”  
__

Minghao woke up with Junhui nestled securely in his arms. 

At first, he couldn’t quite figure out why there was a warm body curled up next to him, but when he looked down and saw Junhui’s peaceful face, he thought for sure he was still dreaming. Jun already looked almost angelic on a regular basis, but the faint sunlight filtering through the blinds and casting shadows over the smooth planes of his face made Minghao’s breath catch.

He was pretty sure it was his heartbeat skyrocketing that woke the other boy. Junhui’s face scrunched up a little, and then his eyes popped open, blinking dazedly as he shifted away from the shaft of light directed right at his face. His forehead collided with Minghao’s sternum, and then he seemed to gradually remember where he was.

“Hi,” he whispered, smiling timidly up at his awestruck boyfriend. 

Minghao poked the tip of his nose lightly, grinning when the action earned him a sleepy giggle. “All right, I’m serious, you’re the cutest thing on this planet, Wen Junhui.”

Jun blushed, flushing a pretty shade of rosy pink, and buried his face in Minghao’s chest. “B-but what about all those cat videos I made you watch? And what about frogs? You like frogs.”

“Still cuter.” He threaded his fingers into Junhui’s soft hair and scratched lightly at his scalp, feeling him relax even more deeply at the sensation. “Frogs are pretty awesome, though.”

“Good, because that’s your contact name in my phone,” Jun said, shoulders quivering with restrained laughter.

“‘ _Frogs?_ ’”

“No,” Junhui snorted, “just ‘frog.’”

“Short and to the point, I like it!” Minghao laughed, butting his head lightly against Junhui’s. He smelled like lavender and a woodsy spice Minghao couldn’t quite place, but it was making his head spin in the best possible way.

“Please tell me you have something equally dumb for mine. I bet it’s ‘shǎguā.’”

“I mean, you _are_ a silly melon, but nope. All I could come up with was ‘Junbug’.”

“Aw, now I have to change yours to something cute!” 

Minghao’s heart felt like it might jump right out of his chest, because Junhui’s face had gotten so close he was nearly going cross-eyed looked at him, and he couldn’t keep looking him in the eyes with how enchanted he was by those full, plush lips with their defined Cupid’s bow. He didn’t fully realize he was staring until he felt Jun’s breathing pick up, and he snapped out of his trance to find the other boy watching him intently.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I—”

“Minghao.” Junhui’s lovely dark eyes were nervous, but excitement sparkled behind the trepidation. “It’s okay.”

The blond reached out to lightly touch his face, tracing the little constellation of beauty marks across it. “Junnie?”

“Y-yeah?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Junhui never broke eye contact as he nodded, something Minghao wasn’t used to from the timid boy, and let Minghao run a thumb over his lower lip. He bumped their noses together in reassurance, and then he guided Jun’s head to tilt at a better angle and kissed him softly.

It was just a gentle press, Junhui’s lips warm and petal-soft against his, but the redhead made a soft, desperate noise when he went to pull away after a moment and cupped his face, pulling him back in for more. Minghao laughed a little against his mouth and happily obliged him, not staying still as he had the first time but sliding his lips slowly across Junhui’s, cradling the back of his neck and letting his thumbs rub the sensitive patches of skin behind his ears.

Junhui was soft and pliant in his arms, practically melting into the mattress. Feeling a little bold, Minghao nipped gently at Jun’s bottom lip when the he pulled back to breathe. He was rewarded with a whimper that sparked an unmistakable heat in his belly, not helped at all by Junhui fixing him with gorgeous, slightly dizzy eyes before he slotted their mouths together again.

Minghao was amazed that Junhui was still comfortable with this; all he had expected was a soft peck, not a full-blown makeout session. Now he had to wonder how far he should go, because this was escalating _very_ fast from blissful and sweet to unbearably arousing, but fortunately, Jun answered the unspoken question for him.

He had lightly skimmed his tongue over Junhui’s bottom lip, silently requesting permission, when the taller boy placed his hands on his chest and gently pushed him back just far enough that they broke apart, panting slightly.

“Wait, HaoHao,” Junhui gasped softly, looking a little embarrassed. “I’m...I’m not ready for this to go further.”

Minghao sat up, putting a bit of distance between them to give Junhui room to breathe. “Okay. That’s okay.” Jun pushed himself up as well, and Minghao was struggling not to stare at his collarbones, exposed by the deep v-neck of his shirt. “I’m really sorry if I scared you.”

“No,” Junhui laughed softly, making Minghao’s stomach do that uncomfortable swoop as if he was on a rollercoaster. “That was amazing. I just...” His cheeks flushed, and he dropped his head to stare at his lap. “I’m not ready for...for _sex_ just yet.”

“It’s all right, Junnie,” Minghao reassured, scooting closer and pressing their sides together, “that’s not why I’m dating you. We’ll take this as fast or slow as you want, okay, dove?”

Junhui beamed, shoulders drawing inward shyly at the nickname. “Thank you, Hao.” He blinked sweetly, looking up through his eyelashes. “Do you...do you think we could kiss some more?”

Minghao didn’t have to be asked twice, pulling Junhui close and muffling his startled squeak with his mouth.  
__

“It’s 10:00, Jin, my bed is calling me.”

Seokjin glanced up from the patient chart in his hands with a knowing smirk. “You seem pretty eager to leave.”

Minghao was slumped over the counter of the nurses’ station, gazing forlornly at his empty travel mug. “I’ve been here almost all day. Took a double shift so I could have off tomorrow.”

Jin chuckled, patting Minghao on the back as he passed by. “Go ahead and clock out before I have to sign you in to be treated.”

Interning at the urgent care did have its benefits. Very few people were actively dying, and the only patients this time of night were usually kids with a bad cold or college students who went a little too hard at a party. 

Minghao nearly ran into Jeonghan on his way out the door. The black-haired nurse was taking a very long swig of coffee just as Minghao had been doing all day.

“Good luck with the graveyard shift,” Minghao chuckled, but Jeonghan grabbed his arm as he hurried to swallow his drink.

“I was looking for you,” he said, “I think your boyfriend is in the waiting room.”

“Junhui?” Minghao was a lot more awake, now. Mostly. “Are you sure? Why?”

“Not sure. He didn’t look too good, though.”

Minghao ran to peek out the window in the waiting room door, and sure enough, Joshua was sitting and talking quietly to a pale, shivering Junhui, clearly trying to soothe him. Jun’s face was streaked with tears, and his eyes were wide and frightened, darting wildly from one point to the next.

Minghao’s episode of Black Mirror waiting for him at home was quickly forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shǎguā = silly melon in Mandarin.
> 
> Friendly reminder that Junhui actually does have Minghao’s contact name as “frog.” Because, y’know, he likes frogs. XD
> 
> I’m also not sure if this is a thing outside of the U.S., but an urgent care is where you’d go if you need to see a doctor faster than making an appointment with your normal doctor but it’s not anything bad enough to go to the ER.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> I’m [on Tumblr](https://blushwings.tumblr.com) if you want to chat!


	5. Ultraviolet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no clue why this chapter was so difficult for me to write. For some reason I just kept stalling with the dialogue and having to redo parts, but I like how it turned out in the end. I’m not completely sure where I want to go with the plot in the next chapter detail-wise, but I’ll try to figure that out as fast as I can. :)
> 
> I also apologize that Jeonghan didn’t get a whole lot of characterization in this chapter. I hope to give him a more thorough appearance (with Seungcheol!) in Chapter 7.
> 
>  
> 
> **TW for panic attacks and some mild medical grossness.**
> 
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>  
> 
> Song rec for this chapter is Ultraviolet by Fred V & Grafix.

Minghao flung open the waiting room door, unintentionally slamming it into the wall and making the receptionist jump, and went straight to Junhui, sitting in the chair on the side of him Joshua wasn’t occupying.

Jun’s glassy, panicked eyes suddenly snapped into focus, a fresh wave of tears spilling down his cheeks. “ _Minghao,_ ” he whimpered, throwing himself into his boyfriend’s arms and clinging to him desparetely. “D-don’t make me go in there, please don’t—”

“Shh, Junnie, shh...I just need to know what happened first, okay?” He looked over Jun’s quaking shoulders to the eldest boy for answers. He couldn’t see any obvious injuries, at least, but Junhui’s clammy skin and jittery state were worrying him greatly.

Joshua was frowning and rubbing Jun’s back lightly. “Seokmin noticed him acting a bit off today, he was kind of spaced out and wasn’t focusing real well on anything. I asked him if he was okay and he said he was feeling dizzy, so I told him to go sit in the back for a while, and he almost fainted on the way there.” 

The furrows in Minghao’s brow deepened, and he tightened his hold on Junhui protectively. “Did he hurt himself at all?”

“Well, Jihoon nearly got flattened trying to hold him up,” Joshua chuckled, “but otherwise, no.”

“Hao,” Jun called softly, sniffling against Minghao’s shoulder, “I’m fine. Really, I am. I don’t need t-to see a doctor.”

Minghao sighed, fingers combing through Junhui’s hair gently. As much as the redhead was obviously terrified of this situation, he knew there was no way he could just ignore what had happened. “I’m sorry, baby, I know you’re scared, but you really need to get looked at.” His chest clenched as Junhui made a small, frightened noise, pressing himself even closer. “Everyone here is really nice, I promise. They’re just going to check you over, all right?”

He ignored the fact they would almost certainly want to draw blood, not wanting to upset Junhui more than he needed to.

Jun’s hands clutched the back of his shirt, and Minghao gave his body a comforting squeeze in response. “W-will they let you stay with me?” he asked, voice quivering on the edge of tears even though he was nearly whispering.

“They will. It might be a little while till they’re ready for you, so why don’t we try to relax for a bit?” Junhui sniffled and nodded weakly, and Minghao gently adjusted him so his head was resting against his chest. “There, hear my heart beating? Just focus on that.”

Jun closed his eyes and let Minghao cradle him, his breathing gradually slowing from near-hyperventilation to mildly fast. Minghao continued to stroke his hair soothingly, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of his head.

He was glad both Jeonghan and Seokjin were on this shift; since he normally worked with them, and as he was close friends with Jeonghan, the topic of Junhui’s anxiety had come up more than once. While all of his coworkers were quite likable, he hoped the two in question would be especially sensitive.

“Wen Junhui?”

Minghao relaxed slightly when he heard Jeonghan’s voice from the door, confirming that his friend would be the nurse assigned to them, but Junhui jumped in his arms and instantly began to tremble again, squeezing his eyes shut and pushing his face into Minghao’s shoulder.

“Oh, Junnie, it’ll be okay,” he cooed, gently pulling the taller boy to his feet. He kept an arm around Jun’s waist to keep him from stumbling; his legs were shaking so badly he could barely walk. “This won’t take long, and then I’ll take you home and we can watch a movie. Does that sound good?”

Minghao felt him nod rather than saw it, since Junhui was partially hiding behind him despite their size difference and clinging to him nervously. The blond turned and found him eyeing Jeonghan like the dark-haired nurse was an agitated bear, and over Jun’s broad shoulder, he noticed the handful of other patients still in the waiting room staring rather shamelessly. One woman with a horrendously coughing child was at least trying to pretend she was looking at the magazine on her lap. 

Minghao shot the onlookers a glare that would’ve curdled milk, and they all startled at being caught and guiltily went back to either reading or staring at the TV on the wall. He was deeply grateful Junhui hadn’t noticed the attention given how distressed he was already; yes, the older boy was practically glued to his back and shaking like a leaf, but that certainly didn’t warrant gawking at a clearly upset stranger.

“Ah, so you’re Minghao’s boyfriend.” Jeonghan smiled kindly and held the door open for them to pass, beckoning for the pair to follow him. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you.”

Junhui didn’t speak but peeked over Minghao’s shoulder inquisitively. 

“Honestly, I think you’re most of what he talks about,” Jeonghan chuckled, seemingly unbothered by Junhui’s shyness. “I hear you can do some fantastic latte art, so I guess I’ll have to come see for myself sometime.” 

He guided them into an exam room and gestured toward the paper-covered bed along the wall. “Just have a seat there while I take your vitals real quick, all right?”

Junhui did as he was told, wincing as the paper crinkled sharply under his weight. His hands were clenched together tightly in his lap until Minghao gently pried them apart for him to hold. 

“He’s going to check your heart rate first,” Minghao explained quietly, noticing that Jun was fearfully watching Jeonghan root through a drawer. “Then your blood pressure after that. He’ll ask you a couple questions about your symptoms, so try to be as accurate as you can.”

Junhui relaxed a tiny bit, relieved that nothing painful was about to happen. He cowered slightly when Jeonghan rolled a heart monitor closer to the bed, but the nurse didn’t seem fazed and held up a device that reminded Jun of the clips he used to hold potato chip bags closed. 

“I’m just going to put this on your finger, okay? It’s not tight or anything.”

Jun nodded and reluctantly slid his trembling hand out of Minghao’s grip. Jeonghan attached the clip to his index finger, and Junhui was quickly distracted by the numbers rapidly appearing on the screen. Minghao was glad Jun wasn’t looking at him, because he couldn’t hide his worried frown as the redhead’s heart rate climbed over 200 bpm.

Jeonghan, thankfully, had a better poker face. His brow pinched subtly, and after watching the readings for a moment longer, he unhooked the clip from the machine. “Let me go grab another monitor. This one might be giving me a bad reading.”

Junhui’s head swung around to face Minghao. “W-was there something wrong?” he stammmered, wringing his hands anxiously.

Minghao sat next to him on the bed, reaching to play with his long fingers. “That’s a pretty high reading, but I know you’re really nervous, so it’s probably not a big deal.”

Jeonghan returned quickly, attached the cord to the new monitor, and watched as the numbers shot right back up. He hummed thoughtfully before removing the clip from Junhui’s finger. “Do you have any history of anxiety, Junhui?” Minghao had already mentioned it to him during more than one conversation, but he still had to check.

“Generalized and social,” Junhui answered, staring pensively at the floor tiles. “And I-I’m really uncomfortable in medical offices.”

“That’s fine,” Jeonghan said mildly, wrapping a blood-pressure cuff around Junhui’s arm. “Do try to take a few deep breaths for me, though, okay?”

Jeonghan asked Jun a few simple questions, nothing Joshua hadn’t already told Minghao, and left them alone again with a promise that Seokjin would be by to see them soon. Junhui had been looking a little more relaxed but started to get uneasy again at the thought of talking to another new person, bouncing his leg and picking at his nails until Minghao tried to divert his attention again.

“I’ve had some good times in this room,” the blond laughed ruefully. “We had a kid puke _everywhere_ in here once, it took us hours to clean up. Jeonghan says he still has flashbacks to it. Oh, and I got to watch Jin irrigate a lady’s ears, too. That was pretty neat.”

Junhui gave Minghao that slow, inquisitive blink he always found strangely adorable. “Irrigate?”

“Yep. It’s what we do when someone gets too much earwax buildup. You know those water-shooty things you can get to clean your braces? You stick one of those in there and watch the show.”

Junhui laughed for the first time all night, albeit not with his usual full-body enthusiasm. “You don’t have a special tool for that?!”

“Nope! I mean, you’re not technically supposed to use it for that and we give patients a ‘don’t try this at home,’ spiel, but it works like a charm.”

The doorknob turned, and Jun’s sweet laughter cut off abruptly as he leaned behind Minghao again for safety. Seokjin’s broad frame was intimidating, but his handsome face was gentle and put Junhui a little more at ease.

“Hi, Junhui,” he greeted, pulling up a rolling chair beside the bed. “I’m Dr. Kim, and I’m probably not as tyrannical of a boss as Minghao makes me out to be.”

“No fair, you still call me the Scrubs Demon!”

A minuscule smile worked its way onto Junhui’s lips, and he became progressively more relaxed as he retold the incident in its entirety, and although his voice was still halting and unsteady, Seokjin neither commented nor reacted to it.

“So, did your vision change at all, like blacking out or seeing spots?”

“It tunneled a lot, but I never completely blacked out.” Junhui looked up for the first time in the discussion, fear shining behind his eyes. “My hearing did get really weird for a few minutes, though, like everything was far away. Is that bad?”

Seokjin smiled warmly as he made a note in his chart. “Not at all. Overall it sounds like a pretty typical fainting spell, so I’m going to ask you a few things to try to work out what might’ve caused it.”

Junhui nodded, sitting up a little straighter. He answered the first few questions easily enough, such as whether he had ever had something like this happen before and a couple of details regarding his anxiety.

“Do you know how many hours of sleep you usually get a night?” Seokjin asked, and Jun was suddenly very fidgety.

“Um...” He glanced at Minghao, who was watching him intently, and then back down at his sneakers. “Somewhere between three and five, maybe?”

Minghao’s heart sank, but Seokjin remained impassive. “Any particular reason why?” he asked lightly. “Busy with school?”

“Sometimes, but...” Junhui drew in on himself slightly, and Minghao was alarmed to see his lip wobbling and tears pooling in his eyes. “I j-just have such a hard time sleeping.”

Junhui was grateful the doctor didn’t comment on his sudden weepiness, because as much as he tried to wipe his eyes on his sleeves, the tears just wouldn’t stop. 

“I see. Are you too anxious to sleep?”

The shivering redhead nodded. “And even on nights that I’m not, I h-have so many nightmares I’m afraid to go to bed.” He sniffled, gratefully accepting a box of tissues from Seokjin.

“Junnie...” Minghao whispered sadly, wiping away a few tears with his thumb.

“So you don’t sleep soundly very often,” Seokjin said more to himself than anyone, tapping his pen against his chin. “Do you feel like you eat well, without skipping meals regularly?”

“No, I...I guess not,” Junhui murmured guiltily. “I always eat after I’ve been exercising, but I usually don’t have breakfast because I’m not hungry that early, and I sometimes forget to eat if I’m busy.”

Now Minghao was the one who wanted to cry — he had assumed Junhui was taking care of himself and that his episode of insomnia was a one-time thing brought on by stress. His chest was tight with guilt for not noticing sooner, but he felt protective like he never had before, wanting nothing more than to care for Jun and keep him safe from all of the fear that had been causing him pain.

“I’m going to be honest with you,” Seokjin said, leaning forward in his chair, “I’m pretty sure the fainting was caused by your sleep deprivation and maybe low calorie intake, nothing life-threatening to worry about, but I’d like to do a blood test just to be safe.” 

Minghao felt Junhui stiffen against his side and watched the color drain from his face. “I-I’ve never h-had that done before,” he managed to say. Minghao had never seen him look so frightened, eyes wide and glassy and his whole body shivering uncontrollably.

Seokjin’s expression softened in sympathy. “You don’t have to, Junhui, but I strongly recommend it. I can’t be completely sure of my diagnosis, otherwise.”

Jun desperately looked to Minghao for help. “Hao, I d-don’t want to. _Please._ ”

“Like he said, you don’t have to, but I really think you should. I care about you, Junnie, and I don’t want something to get overlooked.” Minghao felt like garbage as Jun gave him an almost betrayed look, his quivering somehow growing worse, but he relented, giving Seokjin a small “okay.”

Jin stood and patted Junhui’s quaking shoulder comfortingly. “I’ll grab Jeonghan and have him get that done, then. He’s very good, he’ll have it over before you know it.”

The door clicked shut, and Junhui drew his knees up to his chest, his breathing shortening to little gasps as his watery eyes slid out of focus, staring somewhere in the direction of the wall.

“Junhui, you’re breathing really fast. Can you — shit.” Jun was unconsciously digging his nails into his arms, leaving painful-looking indentations in the skin when Minghao pulled his fingers away. “Here...” He maneuvered the taller boy to lay against his chest like they had in the waiting room. “Breathe with me, okay?”

Junhui tried desperately to imitate Minghao’s deep, slow breaths. The blond felt his chest heave, but he seemed to almost be breathing _too_ deeply; he was sucking in huge gulps of air, but Minghao knew his brain was probably telling him he wasn’t getting enough oxygen regardless. 

“Minghao!” Junhui cried helplessly, choking on a sob and clawing at the front of the younger boy’s shirt. 

“You’re having a panic attack, Junnie,” he murmured, keeping his voice low and calm despite his own heart racing. “It’ll pass soon, but it’ll help if you try to slow your breathing down. Here, let’s start easy. Just two seconds in, two seconds out. Can you try that for me?”

Junhui squeezed his eyes closed and nodded, leaning on Minghao and trying to inhale through his nose, but he barely made it past one, wheezing faintly. “I can’t—” 

“That’s okay, we’ll try again.” Minghao slipped into Mandarin without entirely meaning to, but the familiar accent seemed to soothe Junhui slightly. It took a few more attempts, but Minghao finally felt the frightened boy’s chest open up as he took in a much longer breath. “Good, that’s it! Let’s try four seconds each way, now.”

Junhui was crying with relief as he followed Minghao’s gentle coaching, still unable to stop shaking. The blond rubbed comforting circles on his back and held him tightly, the pressure making him feel safer. 

Minghao was glad Junhui had mostly calmed down once Jeonghan reappeared. He tensed in Minghao’s arms but didn’t panic again, probably too tired to react strongly, and he silently watched Jeonghan set up his vials and bandages. 

“I have an idea,” Minghao said, coaxing Junhui to sit upright while Jeonghan swabbed the crook of his arm with disinfectant. “Jeonghan, could you hand me Mr. Sneeze?”

The nurse smiled in understanding and opened a cabinet on the wall, removing a large plush version of the common cold virus. It was blue, pleasantly squishy, and had friendly googly eyes. Every exam room had a different microbe plushie, mainly to comfort children, but with the way Junhui eagerly reached for it and hugged it tight to his body, Minghao was suddenly very grateful for what he had considered a somewhat silly tradition.

“You hold on to him, okay? This will just take a minute.” Jeonghan slipped a rubber band over Junhui’s arm and had him squeeze a stress toy to bring out the veins. “It usually helps if you don’t look, so you can stare at Minghao for a sec, if you’d like,” he chuckled.

Jun did so, still shaking quite a lot, and Minghao cupped his face in both hands and pressed their foreheads together. “We can go home right after this,” he murmured against his lips. “I promised you a movie, after all. And I think you could use some ice cream, too.”

Junhui’s eyes brightened, but then his face pinched, tears welling up again as the needle entered his arm. Minghao soothed him with kisses as Jeonghan switched through three vials in quick succession once they filled, and within a minute he had removed the needle and wrapped a self-sticking bandage around the tiny wound. 

“There you go, all done.” He put away his equipment, collected his sample tubes and gently removed Mr. Sneeze from Junhui’s arms. “You’ll probably want to have something to eat once you get home, drawing blood tends to drain your energy. Just stay there for a minute and rest, and then we can get you signed out. We’ll give you a call once we have the test results back.”

Junhui blinked up at Minghao, a little startled by the speed of the procedure. “T-that was it?”

“See, Jeonghan’s a pro.” Minghao smiled and planted a kiss on Junhui’s nose. “I’m really proud of you, baby. Now, let’s get you home so we can relax and eat junk food.”

__

“Why do you look like you’re up to no good?” Junhui spared Minghao a glance from where he was scorching intricate floral patterns onto a chunk of driftwood with a wood-burning tool, only to find the blond looking shiftier than usual.

Minghao gave Jun his best puppy eyes, despite Junhui being far better at that without even trying. “Aw, you don’t trust me?”

“Not when you look at me like that.” The older boy giggled and ducked as a stray sock was hurled at him. 

“Well, maybe I won’t show you what I put in your room, then.”

Junhui perked up, setting aside his supplies eagerly. “Okay, I guess I trust you if you got me something.”

Minghao chuckled and headed toward Junhui’s bedroom with the redhead trailing excitedly behind him. “So, I remembered how much you liked that plushie from work, it seemed to help calm you down a lot, and I wanted to get you something for letting me move in with you.” He pushed the door open and let Jun step inside first. “Now, if you don’t like it, I can send it back—”

The taller boy gasped softly and climbed onto the bed, inspecting the massive stuffed dragon first. It was bigger than Jun, which was impressive in itself, blue and silver with a sweet face, velvety horns and floppy pointed ears. Draped over it was a large, soft gray blanket with a crescent moon stitched in one corner. 

Junhui touched the plushie’s face lightly before reaching for the blanket. His eyes widened at how heavy it was, and he looked to Minghao questioningly.

“It’s weighted,” he explained, sitting next to Jun on the mattress. “I read that that can be helpful for panic attacks or just feeling anxious. I know I’ll be around most nights now, but I wanted you to have some things to help you if I have a long shift at work or something and you can’t sleep.”

He saw Junhui’s hands starting to tremble, and then he found himself being crushed in a hug with Jun’s face buried in his neck. He felt tears wetting his shirt, but before he could offer any comfort, Junhui said something quiet that ended up muffled against his shoulder. “What was that, Junnie?”

“I love you, HaoHao. I really do.” 

Minghao’s entire body warmed, and he gently lifted Jun’s head to give him a kiss. “I love you, too, Junhui. So, so much.” 

Junhui, though he was blushing all the way to his ears and still crying a little, connected their lips again and let Minghao kiss him senseless. The younger had never seen him smile as fully as he did when they pulled apart; it was sweet and boxy and gorgeous, and to Minghao it looked like pure sunshine.

When Jun fell asleep that night curled up in Minghao’s arms under his new blanket, nightmares were nowhere to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that every single time I have to go to a doctor, unless the nurse knows me, my heart rate always ends up above 200 and they think their monitor is busted. 
> 
> Thank you for being patient waiting for this chapter and for the lovely feedback on all the others. The comments really help motivate me to keep chapters coming!
> 
>  
> 
> Come talk to me [on Tumblr](https://blushwings.tumblr.com) sometime.


	6. Where Do We Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I’m so sorry it’s been so long since my last update. My classes were getting insane, but I’m on spring break at the moment and have all electives next semester, so I’ll hopefully be able to get another chapter up quickly.
> 
> I ended up completely changing part of where I wanted this chapter to go, so hopefully you all like it!
> 
>  
> 
> **TW for smut in this chapter. It’s only at the beginning, so if you want to skip it, jump to the first break/timeskip.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _
> 
> Song rec for this chapter is Where Do We Go by Lindsey Stirling and Carah Faye.

Minghao considered himself a pretty good kisser, judging by his boyfriend’s eager responses, but Junhui could give as good as he got. 

Once Jun had allowed Minghao to show him the wonders of frenching, the younger had learned very quickly that he was gifted with his tongue, but he never used it for long; making out usually started as a fairly balanced endeavor between them, but in no time at all Junhui would end up as little more than a relaxed pile of limbs in his arms, which was certainly enjoyable in itself.

That was the state he was in currently, Minghao’s weight slowly crushing him into the cushions of his windowseat reading nook, which had quickly become one of his favorite spots for this sort of thing. He sighed happily against Minghao’s lips, the sound morphing into a soft whine as the younger set out to map all the sensitive places along Junhui’s sharp jawline with his mouth. 

Minghao couldn’t help but smile fondly as he sucked a bruise into the juncture between neck and shoulder; he had been delighted to discover that Jun was surprisingly receptive to hickies, skillfully hiding them with a bit of concealer for work and classes. Still, just knowing they were there under the makeup was more of a turn-on than Minghao was willing to admit. He may not have been able to produce a perfect sketch in twenty minutes like Junhui, but the extensive trails of red and purple he would leave on the older boy’s graceful neck were a work of art in his opinion.

Minghao nibbled lightly at Jun’s collarbone, encouraged by the long fingers threading through his hair, occasionally giving a gentle tug when he found a good spot. Junhui tossed his head back, arching his neck to offer better access, only to whimper in disappointment (and more than a little desperation) when Minghao pulled away instead.

“Why’d you stop?” he gasped, curling his fingers around Minghao’s forearms as the blond propped himself up on his palms.

“Just wanted to look at you,” Minghao answered with a soft grin, cupping the side of Junhui’s face in his hand and stroking over his cheekbone with a thumb.

If anything was a work of art, it was Jun himself, especially in this situation. His hair was mussed and fluffy, lips reddened and slightly swollen, and Minghao could feel the flush of color high on Junhui’s cheeks radiating through his fingertips. Wide, dark eyes blinked up at him shyly.

“Kiss me again, Hao? Please?” Junhui whispered, squirming under the intense scrutiny.

Minghao leaned forward to hover over him, noses just barely touching. “Anything you want, angel,” he cooed, breath fanning over Junhui’s face, before diving back in for an almost agonizingly slow kiss.

Jun gasped sharply when Minghao withdrew again, this time to place teasing bites along the shell of his ear. “H-hey, Minghao?”

“Yes, baby?” 

“Can we-” Junhui gulped, struggling to find the words he wanted with Minghao still latched onto his skin, tugging on an earlobe between his teeth. “Can we try something?”

The blond stilled, sitting up enough to look him in the eyes. “Like I said, anything for you,” he murmured, interest piqued but sensing nervousness. Junhui slowly, silently took the hand that was resting beside his head and moved it down between his legs, where he knew Minghao could feel him straining against the fabric of his jeans. 

Now it was Minghao’s turn to gasp a little, eyes darting between their hands and Jun’s blushing face. “Are you...are you sure, Junnie? We don’t have to-”

Junhui was worrying his lip between his teeth, hips shivering slightly with the effort of not shoving them up against Minghao’s palm. “I-is it okay if we don’t get undressed or anything? I just really need to do _something_ , or I think I’m going to lose my mind.” He smiled, bashful but eager, gazing up expectantly at Minghao’s shocked face.

The younger leaned in close again, feeling Junhui trembling underneath him. “That’s more than okay, darling. Just tell me if you want to stop, yeah?” Jun gave a quick nod, wiggling impatiently, and Minghao chuckled and pushed down on his hip with a gentle hand to keep him in place. “Don’t be nervous,” he soothed, rubbing the smooth jut of bone under his palm, “I’ll make you feel really good, I promise.”

He molded their lips together again, gently licking into Junhui’s mouth and sucking on his tongue in the way he knew drove the him crazy. Just as expected, the redhead jerked in his arms, a small moan escaping through his nose. Minghao nudged his leg in between Junhui’s thighs, silently offering him some relief, and Jun took the hint, tentatively grinding down against him and gasping at the friction. 

“Here, like this,” Minghao encouraged when Jun’s body language started asking for more, scooting to kneel fully between his legs. Junhui wrapped them around Minghao’s slim waist, looking unsure of himself, but he arched his back and gave a cry of pleasure, soft and clear, when the blond pushed their hips flush against one another and rocked against him slowly.

“Good?” Minghao asked, grinning as Junhui started to pant, easily matching the rhythm he had set.

Jun smiled right back and nodded eagerly, hands fisted in the back of his shirt. For whatever reason, Minghao had been unprepared for him to sound so amazing; he wasn’t loud, but the steady stream of whimpers and cries in that sweet, smooth voice was making it more than a little difficult to concentrate.

“Minghao,” Junhui gasped as slim fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt, ghosting over his clenching abdomen. He flailed, grasping at one hand and trying to guide it between their bodies but failing with how closely they were pressed together. “Touch me. _Please._ ”

Minghao stopped his attack on Junhui’s neck to look him in the eyes, cupping the bulge in his jeans and squeezing gently. Junhui quivered and gasped, brows drawing together and mouth going slightly slack. 

“D’you have any lube?” Minghao asked, unable to keep a satisfied smile off his face as he watched Junhui struggle to form an answer.

“Nightstand. B-bottom drawer.” Jun threw an arm over his eyes, waving the other in the general direction of his bed. “Just...just hurry up.”

Minghao pounced toward his target, tripping over the jacket he had thrown aside earlier and flashing a middle finger toward Jun’s breathy giggle from behind him. “I can’t get you off if I break my neck,” he laughed, digging through the drawer until he emerged triumphant with a bottle of red fluid. He turned back the way he’d come, stomach swooping when his brain caught up with the sight of Jun with his pants unzipped and shoved partway down his thighs, squirming as he palmed himself through his underwear, digging his teeth into his lip to muffle the noises trying to escape.

The blond wriggled out of his own pants, silently cursing his fondness for skinny jeans, to relieve a bit of the pressure on his cock, leaving his boxers on as not to make Junhui uncomfortable. Settling back between the taller boy’s legs, he popped the cap on the bottle and rubbed a generous amount of gel between his fingers. 

“Ugh, cherry?” he teased, curling his lip in distaste. “I can’t stand that stuff. Guess you’ll have to find a different kind if you want me to suck you off sometime.”

Junhui’s laughter became a faint moan at that mental picture, and he clamped his free hand over his mouth with an embarrassed blush creeping down his throat. 

“Hey, none of that. I want to hear you.” Minghao removed his palm with only a little resistance, placing a kiss on his subtly trembling lips. “You still okay?”

Junhui nodded, hips lifting involuntarily as Minghao’s slick hand finally slipped under the band of his underwear and wrapped around him, grip gentle but firm. 

The younger took his time, getting used to the feel of Junhui’s length in his palm. It felt a bit longer than his own but not as thick, and the redhead responded best to a slower pace than he was used to, but he adapted quickly. The result was more than worth it; watching Junhui panting open-mouthed and whimpering breathlessly, curling his fingers into the pillow behind his head and digging his heels into the cushions, was a more beautiful sight than he could have dreamed. 

It was probably due to a combination of excitement and nerves on the elder’s part, but it didn’t take long for him to get Junhui right to the edge of climax, thighs shaking and voice pitching high and needy. He felt a little guilty for pulling away, especially when it ripped a desperate sound from Junhui, but he had a better idea in mind.

“Hao, please!” Jun cried, frustrated tears gathering in his hazy eyes.

Minghao hushed him gently, stroking his quivering legs. “Do you want me to try fingering you?” he suggested casually.

Junhui’s eyes widened, breath hitching sharply. “Y-yes, please, I need-” He twisted the pillow under him with a strained cry as Minghao’s fingers, slicked with a fresh coat of lube, felt gently for his opening, circling around it and dipping inside just slightly. He knew the younger boy was trying to help him relax to ease any resistance, but he couldn’t help that he was so tense and excited.

Minghao curled his other hand around Jun’s twitching cock again, pushing his thumb lightly against the slit and grinning victoriously when Junhui keened, his entrance fluttering and allowing Minghao to slip his waiting digit inside easily. 

“I...I’m...” Junhui tried to warn, hoping his shivering body would convey that he was already close again when his voice failed him. He gave a small, strangled yell, hips jerking as Minghao prodded at a sweet spot inside him. “HaoHao-!”

The blond carefully worked a second finger into him, going right back to his prostate and stroking against it. Junhui wailed softly, body twisting, and another well-placed press made the coil of heat in his stomach burst. 

“Minghao, _Minghao!_ ” he cried helplessly as he trembled and spasmed, his voice gradually fading to deep, heaving breaths, still shuddering and twitching as Minghao withdrew his fingers and covered Junhui’s face with kisses. He tried to return them but ended up just mouthing feebly at the younger’s lips as they passed.

“How was that?” Minghao asked gently, stroking Junhui’s slightly sweaty hair away from his forehead.

He laughed weakly, curling up against the blond and ignoring the sticky mess he had made of Minghao’s hand and his own stomach, feeling warm and sated. “Good. Really, really good.” Jun sighed in contentment, thought for a moment and then opened his eyes to find that Minghao was still painfully hard. “Can I...” He blinked sweetly. “Can I help you with that?”

Minghao couldn’t hold back an eager groan, despite wondering how Junhui could be so endearing even in this situation. “ _Yes, please._ ”

_

Minghao was by no means a morning person. He was perfectly happy whenever he could stay in bed for most of the day, especially if Junhui was around to cuddle. Despite this, he always jumped at the chance to walk Jun to work at the crack of dawn; there was something lovely and intimate about being hand-in-hand with their sides pressed together in the predawn darkness, listening to Junhui’s sweet laughter at some cheesy joke and waiting half asleep in the café for the older boy to send him on his way with a coffee and a breakfast sandwich. 

“Junnie,” he mumbled tiredly, reaching blindly to turn off his alarm. “Gotta get up.”

Junhui was nestled against his side, clinging to him stubbornly even when he tried to crawl out of bed. “Too early,” Jun complained, keeping his eyes firmly closed.

Minghao chuckled warmly, fingers sinking into Junhui’s soft hair and massaging his scalp. “I know it sucks, but you have to work, remember?”

“Don’t wanna.”

“C’mon, baby, I’ll comb your hair for you.” Minghao gently pulled the covers off Jun’s body, who immediately curled in on himself with a soft whine, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his shirt. “You...might want to have a look at your neck, too,” he added with a satisfied glance.

Junhui’s eyes popped open, and he winced as he touched his throat. “I’m a little scared to see,” he laughed, dragging himself out of bed to peek in the mirror. “Minghao!” he cried as the younger cackled, turning his head this way and that to find love bites from as far up as behind his ears all the way to his collarbone. “How did you do this many?!”

“Sorry. Seemed like a good idea at the time.” Minghao wrapped his arms around him from behind, placing a soft kiss on one of the darker marks under his jawline. “Do they hurt? I can get you an ice pack.”

“A little, but it’s fine.” Junhui smiled over his shoulder, warm and sleepy. “I like them. I might need some help covering the ones near my ears, though.”

Minghao soon found himself with Junhui sitting between his crossed legs, leaning back on his chest and spreading concealer on his neck while the younger ran a comb through his hair, making sure it was parted the way he liked. “Hey, Junnie?” The elder hummed in affirmation. “Are you still okay with last night?”

Junhui’s chest rumbled with gentle laughter, and he tipped his head back to smile up at Minghao. “I am _very_ okay with last night.” 

“All right, good,” he huffed out in a sigh. “I never want to pressure you into anything.”

Junhui’s soft eyes warmed with affection, and he craned his neck to press a kiss to Minghao’s lips. “Thank you for being patient with me, HaoHao.”

Another half hour found them shuffling down the street through a light snow, Junhui trying to cram himself into Minghao’s oversized coat for extra heat. The cold was making Minghao incredibly drowsy again, and he could barely keep his eyes open by the time Junhui placed a warm coffee and a chocolate chip muffin in his hands. 

“No napping in my place of employment,” the redhead chided fondly, giving him a gentle push toward the door. 

How he made it back to Jun’s apartment in one piece, Minghao had no idea; all he knew was that the sofa was extremely comfortable and nap-ready as he collapsed onto it. Almost four hours had passed by the time he came around, leaving him swearing under his breath and searching for his class notes to get some work done before Junhui got home. What he didn’t expect was to hear the door click open long before the elder usually left work.

Minghao set his laptop on the coffee table along with his glasses. “Junnie? You’re home pretty early, did they let you leave because of the weather?”

He stood and walked to the door to find Jun’s broad back facing him as the redhead put away his shoes and jacket. A soft sniffle reached Minghao’s ears, and his heart sank. Draping an arm over Junhui’s shoulders, which he could now feel were trembling, he murmured, “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Junhui looked at him for a long moment with puffy, red-rimmed eyes, and then his face crumpled and he buried his face in Minghao’s shoulder, clutching at his shirt as he burst into tears. 

“Oh, no, baby...” Minghao guided him to the sofa, dragging his special blanket over from where it was folded on a nearby chair and wrapping it around his quaking body. The younger boy had never felt more helpless with Junhui before — a panic attack he could handle now since Jun had a pretty consistent set of actions that calmed him, but seeing his usually optimistic boyfriend weeping so harshly was an entirely new and unwelcome experience.

“Are you hurt anywhere, dove?” Minghao asked quietly over Junhui’s sobbing, to which he received a quick head shake. “Do I have to kick someone’s sorry ass for yelling at you, then?” He had meant it to lighten the mood a bit but realized right away he would probably genuinely fight anyone who tried to hurt his Jun, verbally or otherwise.

Junhui hiccuped painfully, face hidden in his hands so his voice when he spoke was barely audible. “HaoHao, I got fired.”

Minghao’s blood ran hot, and he had to restrain himself from jumping up and startling Junhui. “ _What?_ Why?”

Jun tried to quiet his tears enough to talk, taking a few deep breaths and twisting the edges of his blanket between his fingers. “I-I think I told you, we have a new day shift manager since Jisoo is staying at the L.A. campus to be near his family this semester.”

“Yeah, you said she doesn’t like you very much.”

Junhui nodded. “She always says I’m too quiet and that I should be more bubbly, like Seokmin. Jihoon left a couple weeks ago because she said the same thing about him constantly. But t-today she tried to put me on a register and then yelled at me for being lazy when I told her I don’t know how to use it.”

He sniffled, letting himself be pulled into Minghao’s lap. “T-then she tried to blame me for things that haven’t even happened during my shift, like the machines not getting cleaned well enough, and she eventually just told me to leave since I-I’m a...I’m a waste of space.” 

Junhui’s already tremulous voice cracked on the last sentence, and he broke down again as Minghao folded him in his arms. The younger was so furious he could only quiver with anger, soothing the crying boy on his lap while he fumed. 

“Hao, what am I going to do?” Junhui sobbed, eyes frantic. “I have to pay for my classes somehow, and-”

“Shh, Junnie, don’t be scared,” Minghao cooed, hiding the fact he was seething. “I’ll help you find something else. You’re a hard worker, you’ll do just fine.”

“But I d-don’t interview well. I only got the café job because I was already friends with Jihoon.”

“Just trust me, baby, I’ll think of something. For now, though, you should rest while I make you something to eat.” 

Once Junhui was tucked into bed with a movie playing quietly on Minghao’s computer, cuddled up with his dragon plush (which he had named Qīngwā despite Minghao’s protests), and Minghao had some lamb skewers cooking, the blond grabbed his phone and scrolled through to Jungkook’s name.

 **tinkerbell:** do you still have Jimin’s number?

 **oatmealkookie:** not sure I should give it to the guy who abandoned me for someone prettier ;D

 **tinkerbell:** choose your next words very carefully

 **oatmealkookie:** ...I have it

_

Minghao knew Junhui noticed him staring, but the older boy looked _good._ His interview was supposed to be fairly casual, but he had still worn a nice sweater and his best jeans, just to be safe, and had Minghao style his hair a little farther back from his face than usual. 

Junhui was shaking as they pulled up in front of the little gift shop, clutching one of his art portfolios to his chest like a shield. “I’m going to screw this up,” he whispered, blinking back tears.

“You’ll do fine, Junnie, I promise,” Minghao soothed, reaching across the center console to hold his hand. “I’ve met Jimin a few times, and he’s really sweet. He knows you’re trying find something a little less involved with people, too, so he won’t mind that you’re nervous.” He squeezed Junhui’s fingers, offering an encouraging smile. “I’ll walk you in, okay? Just take a few deep breaths first.”

Junhui nodded and closed his eyes, letting Minghao guide his breathing for a minute or two before he steeled himself and stepped out onto the sidewalk. He was momentarily distracted admiring the wooden animal carvings and nature photographs in the window until Minghao gave him a gentle nudge forward.

A string of bells tinkled as the door opened.

“Be out in a second,” an equally pleasant voice called from the back of the store. “Have a look around, if you’d like!”

Junhui forgot most of his nerves, at least for the moment, mesmerized by the lovely assortment of handmade souvenirs covering every inch of shelf space. Home decor, jewelry, art pieces — all made with a great deal of skill, too. He was inspecting a small owl made from twigs of various shapes when he jumped at a sudden voice next to him that didn’t belong to Minghao.

“Oh, I love that one. I can’t take credit for it, unfortunately; Wonwoo’s a lot better with detail work than I am.” Junhui spun around to find a smaller boy with a delicate face and cotton candy pink hair. 

“I already know this punk,” Jimin said with a smile and a nod toward Minghao, who scowled, “so you must be Junhui.”

Jun nodded timidly, posture becoming slightly more withdrawn. “H-hi.”

There was a sudden thud and a muffled curse from the back, and another young man with a shaggy silver mop of hair peeked out from a side door. “Jimin, your glasses frames got kind of bent and I swear I had nothing to do with it.”

Jimin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with a small, rueful smile. “And that would be my fiancé, Taehyung. Come on, Junhui, I’ll show you the workshop while I fix whatever disaster he created.”

Junhui looked to Minghao with wide, slightly frightened eyes, still holding tightly to his portfolio. 

“I’ll be right across the street in that restaurant, sweetheart, okay?” Minghao comforted, giving Jun a peck on the cheek. “Will you be all right on your own?”

Junhui bit his lip in thought, glanced at Jimin and Taehyung, who were still smiling patiently, and sighed, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. “I t-think so.”

Minghao beamed, patting Junhui’s arm soothingly before he backed toward the door. “I have my phone on me, so you can call if you need anything, all right?”

The blond hadn’t realized how nervous he was for Junhui until he was sitting alone in a restaurant dining room, picking at a pizza and checking his phone every few seconds. He had vaguely remembered Jimin mentioning looking for a new employee who could make items to sell and hopefully add some variety to their stock since he, Taehyung and Wonwoo has been running the place for a few years without hiring anyone else. Jimin handled most of the customer interactions, so a job that allowed Junhui to focus on doing something he enjoyed sounded like a perfect fit.

He was so absorbed in worrying that he didn’t realize almost an hour had passed. He startled as Jun suddenly slid into the booth across from him, expression impassive.

“Junhui! How did it go?”

Junhui blinked down at the table, playing with his fingers. “They want me to start next week if I’m interested. The hours are really flexible, which is nice, but I guess I just...” He sighed quietly, uncertainty swimming in his eyes when Minghao caught his gaze. “What if I don’t do well? I never really show my art to anyone other than you and my teachers, so what if no one buys anything I make?”

Minghao smiled fondly, reaching for Junhui’s hands over the table. “You showed them some of your stuff and they liked it, and plus, your art is amazing. I think you should give it a try, Junnie. I mean, if it doesn’t work out, we can move on to something else, right?” 

Jun blushed adorably at the compliment, nodding thoughtfully as he squeezed their intertwined fingers. “You’re right. I think I’ll take my bike normally since it’s a little far to walk, but do you think you could drive me on the first day?”

Minghao grinned and kissed his knuckles gently. “Of course I can.”

Junhui may not have had a drink and food for Minghao anymore when the younger took him to work, but watching him happily paint a set of wind chimes, head bobbing along to his music with a peaceful smile, was better than one of Jun’s perfect macchiatos any day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Qīngwā = frog
> 
> That whole thing with Junhui’s manager might sound a little harsh and exaggerated, but that actually is something that happened to me almost exactly the way he described it. The only reason I wasn’t fired is because I was friends with a few other management people who backed me up. Some people just aren’t very nice, I guess.
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking around! Feedback is always welcome. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Come yell at me [on Tumblr](https://blushwings.tumblr.com) if you want to submit a request or just talk.


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